My mom (a saintly woman who raised 10 of us!) used to refer to the vestibule of our old church humorously as "baby jail". I, one of her more tempestuous toddlers, made visits frequently. The story goes that one day when I was three or four, I was having a difficult time at Mass and chose the moment of the elevation of the Host during the consecration to yell out at the top of my lungs, "I WANT TO GO TO BABY JAIL!"
...God bless my poor mom. Anyways, I'm a pop-in mom all the way, but being a parish music director often my kids are in the choir loft with me, which presents its own advantages and difficulties. When the toddlers choose to melt down, the church acoustics really work in their favor. 😅
Not a mom story but an aunt story. My husband and I are the only Catholics in our families. So, when we kept our niece, it was nice to expose her to the Mass. When she was about four or five, we took her to Mass, and I did my best to keep her from being disruptive. I was holding her during the Intercessions. The deacon said the prayer, everyone said "Lord, hear my prayer", and then my niece's tiny voice, all on its own, said, "Lord, hear my prayer." She did it for every single intercession. I was NOT going to correct her, mostly because it was hysterical watching the deacon fight for his life to remain composed. He did eventually break and grin. My favorite memory.
I’m navigating this with our first currently. Postpartum I was back in church by week 2 as I needed to get out the house. Our church family have been so supportive. To be fair little one is great mainly sleeping or feeding. I use a cover when she feeds and tend to sit near the back of church mainly so I can spread out with my coat, baby sling, and changing bag.
When little one was in the womb she seemed to enjoy church, always having a wiggle during sermons or hymns. I like to think this has helped her to be comfortable in church now as it is familiar. She is still young though, almost 4 month, so we will see how it goes as she grows older. Who knows my style may have to change (although we don’t have a cry room).
Stakeout all the way. When you've got a toddler with special needs and two other toddlers to boot, it may be the only way you get to attend Mass. I'm so grateful our parish has a vestibule with a full wall of glass windows looking into the sanctuary, and 3 pews on the vestibule side of the glass with signage reserving it for families with small children (and ushers who kindly reinforce this). We barely sit, but at least we have a "base camp" to work from.
Might have to petition our parish for bathroom speakers. That's truly brilliant.
I loved this. Great nuance and refreshingly vulnerable.
We have a large vestibule that covers the left, back, and right of where the main congregation is gathered (with speakers!).
I find the large vestibule to be helpful to not only those who would prefer to nurse out there or wrangle more active toddlers, but also those parents who heroically bring older children and adults who may have more significant behavioral and sensory challenges that make it too difficult to sit in close quarters with others.
Absolutely an avoider. Our first parish with our first baby had no cry rooms. It had a side chapel with a close-door confessional room. I had to resort to taking a screaming toddler in the empty confessional because I could at least close the door. But the church was so tiny everyone heard anyway. 2 kids later, and nothing phases me. We sit in the front anyway so I don't have to endure nasty looks. And woe to anyone who confronts me about it. They can come at me and be rebuked. 😎
We don’t have a “cry room” at our current church- it’s either the vestibule or the “dark room” (aka the empty, dark confessional room in the back). My 2yr old son ends up spending 1/4 of Mass back there because of wiggles.. and he likes it 🤷🏻♀️.
But nursing strategies- my first two were born overseas (Italy). We attended a TLM and I pretty quickly abandoned the nursing cover and just didn’t nurse when the priest was turned around. Now we’re stateside and no TLM nearby … so here’s hoping this next baby cooperates with the cover (first was OK til she wanted to look around, 2nd was too hot and couldn’t handle the extra heat).
Greetings from a fellow pop-in :D The hard part is picking which pew! The further up you are, the more little ones can see and the more engaged they are. BUT it’s also a longer walk of shame if and when a meltdown happens. The great decisions of our age!
Ok but how did I miss this aspect of it - such a hard decision!!! I find it so much easier to sit in front at daily Mass for this reason… less people to catch my eye on my way out and generally they’re happier to see a baby than they are upset at being disrupted haha
That’s true! Our daily Mass is usually at 7am - much harder to get to, but kids (and parents) are half asleep when we go. Most people are usually just shocked we’re there.
I have to say that I am The Embarrassed 😆one time my toddler zipped open my purse, pulled out a pad, and yelled “THIS DIAPER??!?” while waving it above her head. Of course it was while everyone was kneeling 🙃
I also wish that older churches, which while they’re more beautiful, had better space for kids… the one we go to has a tiny vestibule which is always jam packed during Mass. The newer churches tend to have more kid friendly space.
This is so good!! We are mostly avoiders, and I feel embarrassed almost every week as I haul in my giant mass bag full of books, coloring pages, etc. There are four of us and if there’s room we will be spread out across an entire pew by the gospel with crayons strewn all over the place. I vacillate between feeling like we shouldn’t bring so much (usually when I’m thinking about what the other people at mass think) and loving the idea of my children playing at the feet of Jesus (when I’m focused on what Jesus would think).
My mom (a saintly woman who raised 10 of us!) used to refer to the vestibule of our old church humorously as "baby jail". I, one of her more tempestuous toddlers, made visits frequently. The story goes that one day when I was three or four, I was having a difficult time at Mass and chose the moment of the elevation of the Host during the consecration to yell out at the top of my lungs, "I WANT TO GO TO BABY JAIL!"
...God bless my poor mom. Anyways, I'm a pop-in mom all the way, but being a parish music director often my kids are in the choir loft with me, which presents its own advantages and difficulties. When the toddlers choose to melt down, the church acoustics really work in their favor. 😅
Absolutely incredible 😅 I’m definitely stealing the term “baby jail” haha
Not a mom story but an aunt story. My husband and I are the only Catholics in our families. So, when we kept our niece, it was nice to expose her to the Mass. When she was about four or five, we took her to Mass, and I did my best to keep her from being disruptive. I was holding her during the Intercessions. The deacon said the prayer, everyone said "Lord, hear my prayer", and then my niece's tiny voice, all on its own, said, "Lord, hear my prayer." She did it for every single intercession. I was NOT going to correct her, mostly because it was hysterical watching the deacon fight for his life to remain composed. He did eventually break and grin. My favorite memory.
That is so sweet🥹
I’m navigating this with our first currently. Postpartum I was back in church by week 2 as I needed to get out the house. Our church family have been so supportive. To be fair little one is great mainly sleeping or feeding. I use a cover when she feeds and tend to sit near the back of church mainly so I can spread out with my coat, baby sling, and changing bag.
When little one was in the womb she seemed to enjoy church, always having a wiggle during sermons or hymns. I like to think this has helped her to be comfortable in church now as it is familiar. She is still young though, almost 4 month, so we will see how it goes as she grows older. Who knows my style may have to change (although we don’t have a cry room).
Stakeout all the way. When you've got a toddler with special needs and two other toddlers to boot, it may be the only way you get to attend Mass. I'm so grateful our parish has a vestibule with a full wall of glass windows looking into the sanctuary, and 3 pews on the vestibule side of the glass with signage reserving it for families with small children (and ushers who kindly reinforce this). We barely sit, but at least we have a "base camp" to work from.
Might have to petition our parish for bathroom speakers. That's truly brilliant.
I loved this. Great nuance and refreshingly vulnerable.
We have a large vestibule that covers the left, back, and right of where the main congregation is gathered (with speakers!).
I find the large vestibule to be helpful to not only those who would prefer to nurse out there or wrangle more active toddlers, but also those parents who heroically bring older children and adults who may have more significant behavioral and sensory challenges that make it too difficult to sit in close quarters with others.
Ooh yes! Vestibule spaces are hugely helpful. They’re also great for chatting before/after Mass to keep the sanctuary space reserved for prayer.
Absolutely an avoider. Our first parish with our first baby had no cry rooms. It had a side chapel with a close-door confessional room. I had to resort to taking a screaming toddler in the empty confessional because I could at least close the door. But the church was so tiny everyone heard anyway. 2 kids later, and nothing phases me. We sit in the front anyway so I don't have to endure nasty looks. And woe to anyone who confronts me about it. They can come at me and be rebuked. 😎
I aspire to have your confidence!! We belong in the pews!!!!!
We don’t have a “cry room” at our current church- it’s either the vestibule or the “dark room” (aka the empty, dark confessional room in the back). My 2yr old son ends up spending 1/4 of Mass back there because of wiggles.. and he likes it 🤷🏻♀️.
But nursing strategies- my first two were born overseas (Italy). We attended a TLM and I pretty quickly abandoned the nursing cover and just didn’t nurse when the priest was turned around. Now we’re stateside and no TLM nearby … so here’s hoping this next baby cooperates with the cover (first was OK til she wanted to look around, 2nd was too hot and couldn’t handle the extra heat).
I accidentally made a child pee her pants during Mass one of my Totus Tuus summers too! Truly it is an inevitable comedy of errors!
Oh my I feel so much better😅 It’s such a boy who cried wolf scenario sometimes too when they’re so chatty and/or restless!
Greetings from a fellow pop-in :D The hard part is picking which pew! The further up you are, the more little ones can see and the more engaged they are. BUT it’s also a longer walk of shame if and when a meltdown happens. The great decisions of our age!
Ok but how did I miss this aspect of it - such a hard decision!!! I find it so much easier to sit in front at daily Mass for this reason… less people to catch my eye on my way out and generally they’re happier to see a baby than they are upset at being disrupted haha
That’s true! Our daily Mass is usually at 7am - much harder to get to, but kids (and parents) are half asleep when we go. Most people are usually just shocked we’re there.
I have to say that I am The Embarrassed 😆one time my toddler zipped open my purse, pulled out a pad, and yelled “THIS DIAPER??!?” while waving it above her head. Of course it was while everyone was kneeling 🙃
I also wish that older churches, which while they’re more beautiful, had better space for kids… the one we go to has a tiny vestibule which is always jam packed during Mass. The newer churches tend to have more kid friendly space.
This is so good!! We are mostly avoiders, and I feel embarrassed almost every week as I haul in my giant mass bag full of books, coloring pages, etc. There are four of us and if there’s room we will be spread out across an entire pew by the gospel with crayons strewn all over the place. I vacillate between feeling like we shouldn’t bring so much (usually when I’m thinking about what the other people at mass think) and loving the idea of my children playing at the feet of Jesus (when I’m focused on what Jesus would think).